


Culture Differences

by Guanin



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Agender Aziraphale, Agender Character, Agender Crowley, Confusion about Gender, Discussion of Gender, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-11
Updated: 2019-08-11
Packaged: 2020-08-19 12:30:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20209774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Guanin/pseuds/Guanin
Summary: Crowley and Aziraphale are confused about gender.





	Culture Differences

“Can you understand these gender differences they keep going on about?” Crowley asked a millennium into the advent of humanity.

Aziraphale shifted on the rich soil they stood on, fertile now due to a new human invention called “irrigation”. He and Crowley surveyed a farm just outside of another new invention, a city. Ever since his botched assignment at guarding the Tree of Knowledge, he had been assigned to watch over humanity, administer a blessing here and there, and, above all else, thwart the wiles of the nefarious demon Crowley. This last bit proved a bit difficult. Crowley was just so nice and friendly, always eager for conversation. Aziraphale was hardly spoiled for companionship down here, at least not of the sort that knew that he was an angel. Although, Crowley’s tendency to question the Almighty’s decisions was rather bothersome. Aziraphale most certainly did not share his concerns. Not at all. The Divine Plan was not to be questioned. Angels were damned for such impertinence, Crowley being a prime case in point.

Questioning humanity’s decisions, on the other hand, seemed safer. Angels and demons were allowed to influence those, for a start.

“I’m not sure I do,” Aziraphale said in response to Crowley’s query. “It seems arbitrary to dictate what one is allowed to do or wear based on certain body parts.”

Neither angels nor demons engaged in what would later come to be known as “gender roles”. Adam and Eve hadn’t done this in the Garden, had they? Well, Aziraphale supposed that they each did have their own little preferences when it came to activities, but he’d attributed that to personality differences. No, their descendants had come up with this much later. 

“The next continent over,” Aziraphale said, “there is a culture with three genders.”

Crowley narrowed his eyes, unconvinced. 

“It’s still pretty limited to me,” he said. “I suppose they would experience some things differently than we do. God did make them that way. But restricting themselves like this is just ridiculous. You ask me, it’s all about one group of humans controlling the other. Just like this ranking system they’ve come up with.”

“We have a ranking system.”

Crowley raised a brow at him.

“And how well is that working out for you?”

Aziraphale stood up straighter, raising his chin.

“Perfectly well, thank you very much. You know I don’t like you making a mockery of angelic affairs. Let’s get back to the matter at hand, please.”

Crowley shifted on his feet, but he let it go.

“Sure. Not that there’s much to discuss since neither of us understands what this gender thing is.”

Aziraphale frowned at the farmers tilling the soil a long distance in front of them. There were men and women, both shaped differently and dressed differently. But what did the shapes have to do with the form of dress? What could it possibly matter? 

“Maybe,” Aziraphale said. “Oh, I don’t know. It’s a feeling or something.”

Crowley narrowed his eyes at him, befuddled. 

“What feeling?”

“Oh, I don’t know. There must be something.”

Crowley frowned at the farmers. 

“A feeling like ‘I feel like a Theban’ or “I feel happy’?”

Aziraphale crossed his arms in frustration.

“I don’t know. I’m hardly an authority on the subject, am I? I’m hypothesizing.”

Silence fell between them.

“My money is still on it being a controlling tactic,” Crowley said.

Aziraphale shrugged, weary of the subject.

“Well, it certainly is that.”


End file.
